Fish & Federal Police

This morning I was brutally awoken at 7am. It was planned, but nonetheless it was brutal considering when I went to sleep. Abush and I had planned to go to Amoragedel to eat raw fish for breakfast, and obviously the earlier you go the fresher the fish. However we barely got beyond the gate. Walking in the guard shouted something at us, and without speaking good Amharic I knew what he was saying: Pay the entrance fee.

So we explained to him that we’re not here to hang out by the lake and relax, we’re just going to the fish market for breakfast, and for that you don’t need to pay. I’ve done it before and nobody pays. But the guard indignantly disbelieved us or something, starts to get annoyed and threatening. We keep trying to explain, but then he gets really pissed off, slaps Abush, pushes him away, then turns to me and cocks his rifle whilst looking me in the eyes.

At that point a mixture of fear and hilarity ran through me. Having never seen an AK47 cocked so threateningly before, naturally my heart started beating faster. On he other hand, my rationality told me that his life would not be worth living anymore if he killed an innocent farengi, so I was in no danger. Then he repeatedly went to hit Abush with his rifle butt. Abush meanwhile was getting pissed off, and was about to take us beyond the boundary of reasonable action so I pulled him away and walked towards the exit. On the way the cashier told us that we needed to pay twice the price if we wanted to go in, which lead to a volley of ennehati lebdas (“mother fucker”) from Abush.

I was prepared to drop it and go back to bed, but Abush was adamant. We go to the police. And not the pussy municipal police, oh no! We go to the AK-toting, khaki-wearing federal cops that EVERYBODY is scared of! So we told the story to a burly sergeant called Mengisha, who seemed unimpressed, but promised he would take care of it. So we went back to our neighbourhood and waited for 3 hours until they had the use of a vehicle. Eventually they arrived and I got in the front seat with the driver and Mengisha while Abush sat in the back of the pickup with 6 armed officers.

On the way I chatted with Mengisha (a self-confessed Marcel Desailly look-alike), trying to be polite and all even though I was dead embarassed it got this far, and he seemed like a nice guy (but then again, I’m white, if I was Ethiopian it probably would’ve been a different story altogether). When we got there, the crowds massed round us at first. The sight of police normally attracts onlookers, and farengis get a lot of attention too, so put them both together and you get a real spectacle. Most of the officers dispersed the crowds, whilst one temporarily confiscated the guard’s weapon (not the same guard, his shift had ended) and guarded the sergeant. There was no need for the guns though. Just the sight of the federal police on his turf had the manager quaking in his shoes.

The conversation that followed was very civil and full of yikertas (“excuse me”), but it was very clear that the only reason for this was the presence of the federal police. What was actually going on in his head only he and his friends know since we left. I didn’t follow any of the conversation really, but Mengisha controlled both the manager and Abush simply with a glare. If someone interrupted or went on too long a single look silenced both of them. Ultimately, the manager apologised to me and said it would never happen again. Abush seemed content with that, so honour was apparently satisfied. I looked at Mengisha who was beaming at me, obviously proud of his artful negotiation in front of a farengi.

To be honest I was expecting a lot more aggressiveness, but apparently it is not needed, it seems to be their reputation for brutality is their fiercest weapon. Looking at the officers I could not have imagined any of them, shooting someone in cold blood, or beating the crap out of someone unless in danger (Mengisha, easily, but not the junior officers), but apparently it happens, and I’m no judge of character.

Anyway, we went to have our raw fish breakfast (just before noon) with the coppers, only to find that there was none left. So they drove us back to where we started and I was chatting to Mengisha all the way. He seemed like a really friendly guy, we had some good laughs, but I can tell that under that uniform lies a thug. Its strange, again I had two conflicting emotions, but I think my mistrust of him would win out in the long term. Still, if I ever encounter some serious trouble now I definitely have someone I can call on.